Benchmark.

When you say something is a benchmark, what do you think of? The first thing that comes to my head is a benchmark case or trial. That would be a case that sets a standard or establishes how something will be handled in the future.  A benchmark test would be one that shows the teacher where you are when the class starts. It sets that bar and you build from there. 

What about a benchmark race? Logically,  it would simply be a race that sets the bar to build off of; a starting point so you can see improvements. That is exactly what it is, and should not be something my head struggles with.  Alas...here we are, strugglin'. 

I have a race in 2 weeks. My first ever half marathon!! No matter what happens, it will be a PR because I have NEVER gone that distance. So, by definition,  it is a benchmark race.  I am having such a hard time accepting that for what it is. Why?? I will tell you. :) 

In my head my running benchmark was a year ago. When I took that 1st step and a faster pace. When I took 35 minutes to make it a mile around the block. When I did more walking/jogging than anything.  I had full intentions, in my head, of never needing to benchmark anything in running again.  I see myself as constantly building on that first step 365+ days ago. 

Now, I know some of you are ahead of me, but just hold on. I know what you want to say... 

Fast forward to 3 months ago. I live in the south. 3 months ago was June/July. What happens in the south during that time???? 

It gets hot? Was that your answer?? You are close.  It gets more than hot. I am fairly certain the sun moves closer to us and pokes at us with a giant stick and sees how close to catching on fire we can get.

I dont do a lot of outdoor running in the summer. I try but the need to breathe kicks in and I end up cross training indoors.  I knew this race was coming and I did what I could with the intention of hitting distances in August and September.  Well.... never plan for last minute training. I have been sick for almost a month. I have gone from cold to chest cold to flu like virus to severe sinus infection in about 30 days.  I am finally on the mend. I can move without panting and needing my inhaler. I still have a cough but it's better. I still cant get out and run. 

I tell you all that to say this. I am not going to blow this race out of the water. I am not going into this with the training I need to shave time off of miles or try and beat my last 5k record.  Those were my intentions.  That was my plan. I was going to continue to build off of my benchmark first steps in sept 2018. 

Now I have to rethink. I have to circle back and rewire my mindset. This being a benchmark half is not a setback, or a bad thing.  I feel like it is, but I know it's not. I keep telling myself , no matter what this 13.1 is a PR.  But I partly dont feel like it will be. I was supposed to be set to power through this and shatter my own expectations,  not get sick and accept the defeat of walking most of it. 

This race is a benchmark, by definition,  it is. It's my 1st half. It has no choice but to be a bar set to build from.  Why is this so difficult to wrap my head around? Why is putting one foot in front of the other such a mental game?? 

I dont know if anyone else has mental battles like I do, but I hope I'm not alone. My anxiety makes it worse I'm sure. I realized a couple weeks ago that this sickness had taken my out of "my race against me".  I have struggled ever since. I say the right stuff out loud bit6in my mind I am kicking myself for missed opportunities several months ago that would have helped now. I have 2 choices. Accept it and be defeated.  Accept it and move on.  

I am writing this down. I am blogging this right now. I will not be defeated.  Yes. I am going to end up walking a good bit on October 12. But I AM going to finish it.  Yes, I am aware that I may not see my record 13.28 mile time. But I WONT SEE that benchmark 35 minute mile time. Yes, this race will be a half marathon PR. Yes, this will be an easier one to beat during my next half.  Yes, this is a benchmark race. No it does not mean I have to start over from 365 days ago. I AM STILL BUILDING ON THAT BENCHMARK FIRST STEP CAUSE 365 DAYS AGO I COULDNT GO 13.1 MILES. 

I am so glad I read Meb Keflezighi's book "26 Marathons ". If you haven't,  I HIGHLY recommend you do. I have fallen back in his philosophy so much as I approach this half. He talks about what it means to Run To Win. Which does not mean finishing 1st.  That will be me on 10/12/19. Running to win. Getting the most out of me and my run that I can and being proud of those things. Learning and building so that I can win something new in the next race.  Thank you Meb!!!

October 2019 to Oct 2020 Races

Ok I have created this blog post to track my running progress over then next year. I am going to work with a running coach to get some tips and tricks to improve. My goal this year is a half marathon every month. With other stuff here and there. If you have a good race please let me know!!!!

 I will be working over the next 12 months to:

1. Improve pace (currently at 14 minutes 30 seconds per mile )

2. Set my PR for 13.1 on Oct 12 and improve on it!

3. Improve endurance 

4. Prepare for a marathon in November  2020. 

5. HAVE FUN!!

( below are my upcoming/completed races. I will update as I add and complete more.)

OCTOBER 12, 2019

FAMOUSLY HOT PINK HALF

COLUMBIA, SC

TIME:               PACE:                

NOVEMBER 16, 2019

RUN HARD LEXINGTON HALF

LEXINGTON,  SC

TIME:             PACE:

November 24, 2019

Turkey Trot 5k

Sumter, SC

TIME:    PACE:  

February 20, 2020

Hot Chocolate 15k

Charlotte,  NC

Time:  Pace:

April 4, 2020

Cooper River Bridge Run 10k

Time:   Pace:  

 

APRIL 18,2020

CHARLOTTE RACEFEST HALF

CHARLOTTE,  NC

TIME:  PACE:

I am so mad right now... but I will pull through...

Ok so..... I have posted and posted about tomorrow. 9/20/19. Tunnel to Tower 5k. SUPER EXCITED!  I have been looking forward to this race for a year. 

Today I went to the doctor... I have a flu like virus that is messing with my asthma. They gave me a strong breathing treatment and a new inhaler today.  ( look at the nebulizer I got to use!! I WANT IT!!!!!)

This is all cause the weather is changing. So now, for medical reasons.... I am missing my race tomorrow. I could cry. 

So! Since I want to throw a tantrum I am going to blog a list of things I want to do, no matter how silly they may seem:

1. I want to go to Alcatraz.  During the day and at night. 

2. I want to run Boston.  And I am. I seriously may need a running coach though.

3. I want to go to the UK. ( Ireland, Scotland,  etc...) 

4. I want to go to Alaska.

5. I want to go to Maine.

6. I want to hold a sloth. 

7. I want to be certified to sign in court for the Deaf and hearing impaired. 

8. I want to volunteer at my son's school a few days a week. 

9. I want a basset hound, a German Shepherd, and a mutt.  Separately. That would be a weird combo...

10. I want to be a stay at home mom.

11. I want another baby. Either natural or adoption.  

12. I want to be able to quilt and sew stuff to make money while I stay home with my children and 5 dogs...

13. I want to be a nurse. An L and D nurse. Specifically.  

14. I want to run a race in another country.

15. I want to go back to Costa Rica.

16. I want to be a pro blogger

17. I want to live in Senaca, SC or somewhere up there so I can visit my lake regularly. 

18. I want to kayak.  A lot!

19. I want a degree from Clemson and/or UT Knoxville. 

20. I want to be in a broadway play

 Or at least get the chance to play the lead female role in Phantom of the Opera. 

21. I want to write a book and have it be successful. 

22. I want to sing my Great Grandmother's music for people and not have a panic attack from nerves

23. I want to meet Zak Bagans, the lead investigator for Ghost Adventures.  He could fall for me at the very least he could be my BFF and take me ghost hunting. He just needs to meet me. 

24. I want to tone up and look impressive to me. (Mainly....find my abs..) 

25. I want to make cute cookies with that royal icing decoration and not end up as a "pinterest fail"

There. 25 things I want to do in no specific order, and no matter how far fetched.  I still want tondonmy race tomorrow,  but I can't.  I risk making myself worse and not being ready for my first half on 10/12. 

Perk to the list... I and going to elaborate on each one. So now you know the topics for my next 25 posts. Stay tuned. I will post one a week at least. Yay!! 

P.S. who knows a good, inexpensive,  running coach... no seriously.  Comment it to me! 

9/11. I remember.

Patriotism: love and pride for one's country.  A word associated with July 4th, Memorial Day, Veteran's Day, Remembrance days for the wars we have fought in this country, and what always seems to show through when we face tragedy as a nation.  This is no different today. Today is 9/11. A day that was burned into our memories and our hearts in 2001. 

I remember where I was on that day. I was in 10th grade at Sumter High School. I was in Band. We were playing and Mr. Jones had to stop us because an announcement came on. Our Principal, Mr. Dingle, was talking about how we would not be closing school. We were safe at SHS. The event taking place was a tragedy and that they would continue to monitor the situation.  I had no clue what they were talking about.  I had no idea that a plane had crashed into The World Trade Center.  I had no idea that we were minutes away from another plane taking out the other tower.  I had no concept of the dangers that were unfolding in DC as a plane was making it's way to The Pentagon. 
We went back to playing our music and eventually the bell rang to send us to our next class.  I had public speaking with Dr. Cook. The TV was on and it wasn't until I sat down that I realized what the announcement was about. I remember staring at the screen in horror. The buildings were crumbling. People were screaming in the background as news reporters tried to explain the chaos. The image of those planes and those buildings played on repeat ALL day, in every classroom. It continued on every channel after I got home. It played on every channel for as long as I can remember.  Even to this day, at least once a year, we revisit those news stories. We review the pictures and the memories that people share. We Remember. We promised on 9/11/01 to remember and here we sit in 2019, 18 years later, keeping that promise. 

In 20 days I will be running a 5K in Columbia, SC. It is a race that I wanted to do even before I discovered my love of running.  I was supposed to run it as my first race last year, but hurricane Florence had other plans.  I will run it this year as my final 5K in my 1st year of running.  I will be running The Tunnel to Towers 5K. As explained on their web page : www.tunnel2towers.org

"The Tunnel to Towers 5K Run & Walk Series was created to honor the heroic life and death of Stephen Siller, a New York City firefighter (FDNY) who lost his life on September 11, 2001 after strapping on his gear and running through the Brooklyn Battery Tunnel to the Twin Towers. Honor all of those who lost their lives on September 11, 2001 and support our first responders and military who make extraordinary sacrifices in the line of duty!"

I encourage you to go to their web page and see what all they do for our first responders.  

This race will consist of 3.1 miles of patriotism. Fire fighters will run it in full gear. Military will run it as squads. Police will run it in uniform. Flags will fly. ( and fair warning ... I will probably cry) This race doesn't come with a finisher medal. It doesn't need to.  I did purchase a medal from a virtual race. It is for a race called " End of Watch" It is in honor of law enforcement who have lost their lives.  It will serve as my medal for this 5k on the 20th. 

I do not ever post political stuff on my pages. I try very hard not to be involved with all the crazy left wing/right wing arguments.  Today, I will say this. I don't care if you are left or right. I don't care if you are a member of the republican party, the democratic party, the green party, or the birthday party. I don't care if you are white, black, purple, green, multicolored, or don't identify with a race at all. No matter what side of what fence you choose to stand on. TODAY remember the sacrifices made to allow you to choose your side of the fence. Today and everyday remember, like we promised to do. Today, be American. Show patriotism because thousands of innocent people died when AMERICA was attacked. Not when the lefts were attacked. Not when the rights were attacked. Not when the martians were attacked. AMERICA. Us. WE THE PEOPLE. 

God Bless. 

One step closer!!!

Today it popped up on my Instagram feed that in 48 hours , registration will open for the 2020 Boston Marathon.  God, what I wouldnt give to be signing up.. But no worries. Today I moved 1 step closer to Boston. I made a promise ,to my cousin and myslef, to run the Charlotte Marathon in November 2020. 

WHAT!!??! yeah, I did. And I am. On 9/20/19 I will run my 5k for month 12 in my first year as a runner. My next goal is 13.1 a month for 12 months.  I have my first on Oct 12. My second in early November.  I have got to start looking for more. Yeah, there are other races (Hot Chocolate 15K in January.  Cooper River Bridge 10K in April. Etc...) but I will find a half every month, even if its virtual.  

Ahh! I am excited for next November! 1 step closer to Boston. 1 step closer to my blue and yellow dream!! 

I also made another pillow this week. Sewing and running. My loves!! 

Hurricane obsession = forget to blog for a week.

As I sit here..at 1115pm...waiting for sleepiness to hit... I find that my inner meteorologist is trying to escape. I have been following and tracking and obsessing over Hurricane Dorian. I am floored by its size and its power and I am scared for everyone in his path. 

We are supposed to feel the effects Thursday.  We will feel tropical storm winds and rain. South Carolina coast will be feeling a hurricane.  If I read correctly this thing is wider than our state. It is huge and powerful.  My heart hurts for the Bahamas, especially for the island of Abaco. It is destroyed. I want so badly to pack up and go help those people restore their lives.  I wish I had the time and money to take supplies and just gives hugs. I don't even know what I would say to them. There is nothing I could say to make it better.  Nothing to change what was done. Nothing to put things back how they were or bring home those that were lost. I could gives hugs. I could give food. I could give supplies. For now, I give prayers. ( and I encourage anyone who can help, to help!) They are heavy one my mind and on my heart. This link:

https://www.facebook.com/crisisresponse/?crisis_id=579754285889574 

Is to a Facebook page and it is full of missing faces, people needing help, ways to help, people offering help, pictures, videos, and more.  Yes it's sad but I encourage you to go and look, pray, and help in other ways if you can. 

 I cant help but to think back to September 1989 when Hurricane Hugo came and showed us what he was made of.  I remember that night vividly, and I was 4.  

I was asleep. To be honest, I dont even remember knowing a storm was coming. I was scared awake by a whistling noise outside my window. I left my room and went up front where I found my parents. Mom was on the couch, I told her I heard a noise and it scared me. I knew immediately that something was wrong because she didn't send me back to bed. She told me to come sit with her. I remember the radio. I remember the wind ( oh God the wind). I remember looking out the kitchen window and watching our shed lift up off the ground and roll over the fence into our neighbors pool. At this point we had no power. We had flashlights and candles.  I couldn't stay at the window long, daddy said something could break the glass if it blew into it. We moved a mattress into the hall. We shut all the doors in the hall. The 3 of us lay together on that mattress, in the hall, under a white blanket,listening to wind and rain. At one point it thundered,  I am sure it did the whole time but I only remember this one. It was loud, it shook the house. The lightning was bright and it was like they happened at the exact same time. My dog, Lb, was having none of it. He jumped over the gate in the kitchen, over a lit candle, hit the mattress and had no intentions of moving. No one made him move. The 4 of us stayed right there. 

At some point I fell asleep because the next morning I was alone in the hall and mom and dad were in bed. ( I was mad they left me in the hall.)

No power. No water. Couldn't go outside because of power lines on the ground. No school. No work.  No phones. My playhouse was destroyed..We got in the car and went to go find grandparents. We couldn't get down Mimi and Papa's road because of a huge tree. We turned around to go another way and passed them. They were coming to check on us. We stopped on the side of the road with them. When we got to their house a tree had fallen on their car. My playhouse was destroyed.  But otherwise I dont remember much damage. 

We went to my other grandparent's house. They had a tree fall and put a hole in the roof. Oh, yeah...my playhouse was destroyed.. 

Their lake house had a tree fall and poke several holes in the roof. 

I remember trips to the laundromat.  Filling up trashcans of water at a lake to dump in the bathtubs ( gotta have water to flush the toilet) 

I remember the shirts they sold afterwards  and the cans of water. 

Such vivid memories, like it was yesterday.  It scared me, and it is the reason hurricanes scare me today. I dont want to go through that again, and I came out of it with my family and my home in tact. 

I cannot imagine what 4 year olds in the Bahamas are thinking or dealing with right now. I cant imagine what adults are thinking and dealing with. 

I want to go help. I want to go comfort people. All I can do right now is pray and continue to monitor their situation through news/social media. I will continue to monitor this storm as it makes it's way towards our coast. I will continue to obsess over it and all it has done. 

This is going to be another long hurricane season...